You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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