she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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