You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
