i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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