I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize