Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
