moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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