Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize