i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
