Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
