porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize