Already got asked if we're dating
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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