that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
