yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
