The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize