There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
