My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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