Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
