at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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