Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
