i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Two words: blizzard sex
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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