i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
