His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
