He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
