the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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