I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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