i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize
