Buhtt sex?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
