What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
