If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
