please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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