I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
