i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
