He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
