How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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