Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
