My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
