you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
