That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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