Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
