Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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