whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
