I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He felt like a one man threesome
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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