Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
