Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
