She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
