My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
