So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
