i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
