The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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