Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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