yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
