im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
