There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
