why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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