do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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