so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
