i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
