i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
