Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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