Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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