If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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