I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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