Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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