the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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