remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
