Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
