dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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