I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
