Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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