I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I have post one night stand depression
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
