Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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